Self-promotion Provocateur Pillows

"I'm in advertising. . ."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

Creativity 2.0

Blog Breakdown

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"He's brilliant, exactly like me, and a lower paid version."

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

"It's my company. I want to star in the commercial."

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

The Social Media Expert

This could be your blurb.

"This is my son, Barry. He was headed for Congress, but instead had made his mark as a prominent internet troll."

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

'Let's tweet that there's civil unrest in Torquay and see if it gets reported on the news.'

'Let me know if you want me to adjust the webcam.'

'Welcome, sir?we've heard wonderful things about your accounting methods!'

"In today's workshop we'll enrage the masses."

"I've closed the fennerman deal, Ellen. Have some people toot my horn."

'...and this develops their sense of aggression and ability to smash things.'

Hell Mark - Cards for every occasion.

Hot date tonight, little buddy? I'll say. I met a super-smart, really amazing lady. We're going to hook up tonight. By that I mean we're going to get together and troll all the true believers at the Reptilian Illuminati are controlling everything Facebook group. Sigh ... Well, at least you're going to be in the company of another human being. By get together, I mean we're going to post comments in the same threads.

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

'These personal statements are just me...me...me!'

Lawyers - Counsel Chapotard reading in a Law Journal an article by himself praising himself

"You monster! I told you to stop posting political opinions on social media!"

'50 million what a deal...50 million okay, 51 million...do I hear 55 million?...'

"O.K., well, think about it, but remember, I find my own food, I'm quiet, and you don't have to take me for walks."