Self-promotion Provocateur Pillows

"I'm in advertising. . ."

Blog Breakdown

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

"He's brilliant, exactly like me, and a lower paid version."

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

"Nothing showy, but we would like to be publicized."

"It's my company. I want to star in the commercial."

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

This could be your blurb.

The Social Media Expert

"This is my son, Barry. He was headed for Congress, but instead had made his mark as a prominent internet troll."

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

'Let's tweet that there's civil unrest in Torquay and see if it gets reported on the news.'

'Let me know if you want me to adjust the webcam.'

'Welcome, sir?we've heard wonderful things about your accounting methods!'

'...and this develops their sense of aggression and ability to smash things.'

"In today's workshop we'll enrage the masses."

"I've closed the fennerman deal, Ellen. Have some people toot my horn."

Hell Mark - Cards for every occasion.

Man replaces a bust with one of himself.

'These personal statements are just me...me...me!'

Lawyers - Counsel Chapotard reading in a Law Journal an article by himself praising himself

"You monster! I told you to stop posting political opinions on social media!"

'50 million what a deal...50 million okay, 51 million...do I hear 55 million?...'

Dust jackets for people.

"O.K., well, think about it, but remember, I find my own food, I'm quiet, and you don't have to take me for walks."