Promotions Skeptic Pillows

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Recycling Depot - Magazines, Newspapers, Free CDs, books, 8 page pull-outs and other promotions

'How fast can you hype?'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

"You'll get an office, a pay increase and a set of bad nicknames from your colleagues."

'I've been made junior partner.'

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

"Multi-level marketing!"

'Our Monday night '90-off wine night' isn't exactly working wonders for Tuesday thru Saturday.'

Cold caller.

'There's nothing wrong with the sound, lady, it's a Party Political broadcast, that's all.'

Cash Rebate

"He's brilliant, exactly like me, and a lower paid version."

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

Sales company

"Big promotion for you Khanna - from Data Scientist to Big Data Scientist."

'You want a raise? - You only started work yesterday!'

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

"I was supposed to prepare your year-end review but I figured youe sales chart would just save me the trouble."

"The improvement is the higher price."

The Sponsored Skier

'...I know it's a good discount but we don't need double glazing!'

"On the web it clearly said, 'one mile from the beach'."

"It's flu season, so you'll probably get sick. To repeat: You... will... get... sick. And when you do, there's Helpaflu."

"Thanks to Trump, no one cares if we lie now in our advertisements or press releases."

"We can see that you just bought a fridge and thought you might be interested in a fridge."

"Oh, we only use them when simple PR won't do."

"They're 60 per cent wool, 30 per cent nylon, 35 percent interest..."

'Why do I think that someone has made up these numbers?'

"It's not as good a deal as it sounds - it's based on THEIR lifetime."