Quirky Promotion Enthusiasts Pillows

J+P Pharmacy. Happy hour 5-7.

'How fast can you hype?'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

Blog Breakdown

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

'Our Monday night '90-off wine night' isn't exactly working wonders for Tuesday thru Saturday.'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"You'll get an office, a pay increase and a set of bad nicknames from your colleagues."

Recycling Depot - Magazines, Newspapers, Free CDs, books, 8 page pull-outs and other promotions

'I've been made junior partner.'

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"Big promotion for you Khanna - from Data Scientist to Big Data Scientist."

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

'You want a raise? - You only started work yesterday!'

The reason why moments like this are utterly wasted on advertising people...

Three cheers for advertising.

"When I asked you of you were ready for this promotion, you flailed uncontrollably. Was that a lie?"

4 x 4s - buy one, get one free.

This could be your blurb.

The Social Media Expert

"Please visit our website and tell us about your experience with this sale. You can win a gift card good for a free glass of lemonade."

'I appreciate the new title, Mr Boyle, but what I could really use is a raise.'

'Actually I worked my way up from 'ideas'.'

'Allow me to be the first to congratulate you on your sudden promotion.'

"The GOOD news is that your promotion puts you in charge of the team, the BAD news is you ARE the team."

'Coming to you live. Straight from his last job. Let's have a big round of applause!'

"Congratulations! I hear that you're being promoted to a cubicle near the door."

Frankenstein's monster writing a lonely hearts ad.

Hot Dog Stand Traffic Stopper (all kinds)

Fire Sale / "Sell something or you're fired."

"Sorry, Longly, but you're a little over-dressed. When I said you were moving up the ladder today, I meant I needed my ceiling painted."