Quirky Marketing Enthusiast Pillows

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

Panty Hose 25c - Installed Free.

"That's our new church mascot."

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

Berries, Roots, Tubers, Stems, Leaves.

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'It's about time!'

Floss Street Vendor

London Olympics.

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

"Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor..."

Child selling cold lemonade in the winter

'The action next week is going to be in bird seed, but if you quote me, I'll deny I said it.'

"I've built this business up from scratch. . . "

'...hmm ...I predict an upturn in profits this year.'

Doomsday marketing

"Excuse me...but there are hairs in my soup. I think we should be supportive when our friends open a business. But sometimes I wonder...what are they thinking?"

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

"Ooh, this one sounds interesting, 'Single, vegetarian, bulbous, with moves like a lava lamp.'"

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

Marv's Preowned Vehicles...That new car smell can kill you! - Buy Used!

'I want a campaign that will fol some of the people some of the time and all of the people all of the time.'

"And to all who wondered how we could possibly top our Cup a' Junk, I give you Bucket a' Junk!"

Maybe I'm just a sucker for marketing, but I think bottled pond scum water really does taste better.

"We could add a wobbly seat and lid that the idiots, er, customers would think they have to replace - at a premium, of course."

'Now that's what I call merchandising!'

Why Mr T's Information Technology Company Failed

Snow Cones 50 Cents - self serve.

'Well we could either make a massive investment in a new multi-media marketing campaign Or we could ask Edna to stop telling current customers to sod off because she's too busy to talk to them!'

'Great ad campaign. Now all we need is a product.'

'He brings a bizarrely different perspective to our marketing.'

Johnny Appleseed's less popular brother, Joey Kiwi.

Free Hamster, "That's novel, getting a free hamster with every meal."