Quirky Ad Enthusiast Pillows

"Hi! I'm Bob the chartreuse investment armadillo."

Fake Leprosy Bumps - No predator will touch you.

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

Gerald Ratner's return

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

As Seen Watching TV

F1 - Quit Smoking.

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

This Space Available.

"We only invest in companies that still exist a year after running a Super Bowl ad."

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"The Closer, Cleaner, Smoother Reaper."

"Play it like, sure, the world sees you as just a hamburger, but you know there's so much more to you than that."

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

Eat More Salted Nuts

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"You want the bookkeeper? Let me put you through to our creative department."

'They balked our pitch.'

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'

'Hey! -- that Maytag repairman is an impostor!'

'And here's old Elias T. Pendergast - a legend in the advertising game. He's the one who successfully marketed the Ass-Expander.'

"Dwayne is very important to us. He knows exactly when a trend will become a craze."

Marty's Burgers. Under One Billion Served.

NHS to encourage hospitals to advertise in a more friendly manner.

"He's a genius at product placement."

Forget Your Worries at Velton Corners, Spa.

'Thank you for picking me as your ATM machine...but before I dispense your money, here's a word from Ed's Bar & Grill...'