
Bob believes he has thinning hair.
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Bob believes he has thinning hair.
"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."
"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."
Cat with Lion reflection in mirror
A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.
"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."
"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."
'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'
Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.
'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'
'I wouldn't advise you to write your autobiography. It would be a very dull read.'
'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'
'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'
"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."
"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"
"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."
'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'
Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.
'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'
"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"
"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."
Caterpillar Paranoia
100% Bombast-Filled Parka
'I never forget a face.'
'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'
Other People
'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'
“You must be this self aware and emotionally secure to go on this ride”
"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."
Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, What do you think of younger men? -kl. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Depends. Younger men have strong jaws and rock-hard abs, but they're missing the sexiest thing: they're not crotchety jerks, set in their ways, willing to argue about anything and say totally stupid things. Hey, doesn't that foul old wretch realize I've got rock-hard abs and a steel jaw?! (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-12)
'I know how you feel.'
'I'm sorry...we're not sure you're self obsessed enough.'
'Ecce homo!'
"Could I be PATHOLOGICALLY normal?"
'It's my only indulgence.'
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