Self-perception Philosopher Gifts

"What happened to you!?"

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

Howie learned long ago that the smaller the mirror, the better the image.

'Distortion? We don't see any distortion.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

"Nice haircut."

"That's a big fat lie!"

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

"You say priorities, I hear suggestions."

Everything looks better through rose-tinted glasses.

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

'I'm a good ape, but I've never really been a great ape.'

"It's a bit overrated really isn't it?"

Unreliable Narrator

'I'm just sayin', with this cute little face and my big fluffy tail, I never really thought of myself as vermin!'

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

'You lie!'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

Mirror Mirror on the Wall...what happened to you?

"Why do you always get to be 'half-full' and I have to be 'half empty'!?"

'Your mirror's cracked.' - 'No, that's your head.'

My routine.

"I reckon he's compensating for something."

What men and women see when they look in the mirror.

"Narcissus! That's a pretty name."

'So, how long have you had this delusion that you're a psychiatrist?'

Too many great complexions travel under false colors.

'I like obesity in a woman, Priscilla.'

Now that I'm sixty five, I've come to a decision - I'm getting a toupee.

Vanishing Point - 4 Miles.

'Ha! I see a massive grey blanket too.'

Woman stranded on a desert Island with nothing but chocolates and weighing scales