Self-isolation Sipper Gifts

These days it's not not enough to stay home. You need to stay hydrated, too!

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Bryan Ferry

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

The last song before the party exploded.

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

A Transformer for grownups

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

"'60 Minutes' is on."

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

Margaret got tired of waiting for her ‘slow-brew' tea.

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'Your tooth still sensitive to hot liquids my dear?'

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"Here, son, don't forget your glass of fizzy."

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

"Transitioning from home to office again is more difficult for some than others."

'Don't you have anything larger?'

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

Cat Jealous of Woman Having a Lazy Day.

'Coffee, tea, or banana?'

'Put an olive in it please. My doctor says I need more greens and less alchohol.'

"You taught him to bring the paper?" "Just the comics."

"Wall Street Journal"