Self-isolation Sipper Gifts

These days it's not not enough to stay home. You need to stay hydrated, too!

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Bryan Ferry

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

The last song before the party exploded.

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

A Transformer for grownups

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

"'60 Minutes' is on."

Margaret got tired of waiting for her ‘slow-brew' tea.

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

'Your tooth still sensitive to hot liquids my dear?'

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

"Transitioning from home to office again is more difficult for some than others."

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

'Don't you have anything larger?'

Cat Jealous of Woman Having a Lazy Day.

'Put an olive in it please. My doctor says I need more greens and less alchohol.'

"Wall Street Journal"

"You taught him to bring the paper?" "Just the comics."

Homeworking has really been the death of the office party, what do you think?

'Coffee, tea, or banana?'