Solitary Sipper Gifts

'Happy new year'

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Liquidity Lunch

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Velvety. And so was the wine.

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Happy hour.

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

"Sipsies?"

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

Scariest Tactics

Men's Parallel Bars

"Generally speaking, when his nose gives way, it means he's had enough."

'It's better to drink a little too much than much too little!'

"Are you looking for 'drinks and nibbles' beer, 'I don't really drink beer' beer, or good old fashioned 'gidday mate' beer?"

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'