Solitary Sipper Gifts

'Happy new year'

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Liquidity Lunch

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

Happy hour.

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"Sipsies?"

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

Scariest Tactics

"Generally speaking, when his nose gives way, it means he's had enough."

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

"I've never been wild about this bar, but it does get you where you want to go."

Men's Parallel Bars