Solo Sipper Gifts

Homeworking has really been the death of the office party, what do you think?

"Well, this virtual staff party sucks."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

The last song before the party exploded.

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

Velvety. And so was the wine.

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"Here, son, don't forget your glass of fizzy."

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

'Don't you have anything larger?'

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

Psychiatry. Here's your soda --- Would you like a crazy straw?

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

'They sat in an etape, playing bezique and swilling skookum saloop.'

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

"And could I have a small diet soda please."