Self-improvement Satirists Pillows

"...can you give us 5 motivational tips, the things that really made you unsuccessful?"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

Bald Man Overcomb

New from Lockdown Press

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

Lady Liberty's Self-Care

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

"It's easy. The first step is to entirely change who you are."

New years resolutions

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

"The Seven Warning Signs of Seven Warning Signs"

I am prepared to unveil by brilliant innovation. Is it an MP3 player? It's a self-help book. A simple way for readers to achieve instant happiness. You? What do you know about happiness? You're miserable and you make other people miserable. Wrong! People will get happy or I'll kick their keisters! Uplifting.

'It's an easy product to sell. We just have patients view themselves in high def.'

Bald hairdresser recomending hair restoring lotion

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

Bart firmly believes that he is the result of intelligent design.

'I would appreciate if your young lady waited for you up the road,Wilkins.'

Idiots guide to being an idiot.

"Apparently removing my reproductive organs wasn't enough."

The cocoon was important, but I never would have been able to make this big a change without therapy.

Cat Self-Help Support Group

Business Seminar: How to profit from inflation.

'Saline implants? That'd kill you! I'd take anything Rick says with a grain of salt- But I suppose that'd kill you too.'

"I'm fine. I want you to tell me how to change everyone else."

'Honey, does the wild pig that I swallowed whole for lunch make me look fat? No, dear, it's just the lighting.

Armstrong, I'm not qualified to give you dating advice. When it comes to that stuff, I'm the WORST. Why not ask Randy? Because Randy's advice is as good as it gets. There's nothing to improve on, so it's a bad investment. But if someone gives me glaringly bad advice, I can easily spot the errors, correct them, and compile it all into a best-selling advice book. Dating tip #1: Dating is not an investment. Beautiful. Keep 'em coming.

"They say if you make a face, it will stay that way. Unfortunately that doesn't apply when sucking in your gut."

Photographer

"If I hear someone use the word 'mindful' one more time, I'm going to lose my mind."

"I've just joined a support group for boring people."

"You are a very special person with a hangover!"