Self-hypnosis T-Shirts

Poor chap was busy concentrating on his 'I can make you thin' CD when the truck squashed him flat.

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Self help acupuncture

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Relationship Warning Lights

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Window Treatment

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'The Lemming Book Store'

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"How can you expect anyone else to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself?"

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'