Kitchen Hypnotist T-Shirts

In-out.

Come dine with me!

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Benihana style of cooking.

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

You're the sizzle in my roast!

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Surprise in the salad bowl

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"Trust me. Don't do it."

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"You shouldn't have hypnotised him"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Hot pot

Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge

Hypnotoon

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

"More?"

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

The legend of Chef Arthur.

"Fridge-to-table"

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

'And when I snap my fingers you'll be happy with what I pay you.'