Kitchen Whisperer T-Shirts

"There you are - you can put knives back in the right order if you try, without my condescending advice."

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"Just be yourself."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'Superstock'

"It's a destination wedding invitation. We have to cross the road."

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

'In this league, guys, it's all about winning. And we're like, what, 0 and 10? That's why coach got the ax.'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"One word from you when the wife gets home and you're next Sunday's roast!"

"No, that was my twin brother. I was too chicken to cross the road."

Scientists have found proof that the mighty T-rex is related to the humble chicken.

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

'Slow down,' I said... 'Watch that bump,' I said... Not only did we lose two of the kds, but who knows what kinda damage that's gonna do to the paint!

'I'll take back 'Rotten Egg' if you'll apologize for 'Dumb Cluck'.'

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

The Complete Cycle.

"My God, you're right ... it all makes sense. I crossed the road because of my parents!"

"Stop son, council regulations state that we're not allowed to crow in urban areas..."

Egg!

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

"Sherlock Combs there said he believes it's an inside job."

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

Large Very Fresh Eggs