Appliance Whisperer T-Shirts

'I tried fixing it myself, but no joy I'm afraid.'

It's hard to when I'm always under pressure."

Terror in the Kitchen

The Complete Cycle.

Swan songs of appliances Featuring: - Don't try to fix me 'cause it's too damn late - Somethin's really busted deep inside - and that old favorite, time to say good-bye

Help!

"Don't lose your cool, Barry!"

'Listen, Blender, I'm not flashing you on purpose to flirt. My clock just hasn't been set.'

"Are you sure you don't want to sing?"

'The light stays on after I shut the door.'

A doctor in her kitchen agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug on her ailing toaster.

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Even though we're appliances, we still have feelings. So, if you want us to do what you ask, then we suggest saying please."

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'You said the computer was coming between us. So I put your name as my password.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Fixing the Computer.

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

Computer help.

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Man and Machine snoozing

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"I think we could work very well together."

'Interactive TV news.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

Books of Tablets

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."