Kitchen Hypnotist Pillows

In-out.

Come dine with me!

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Benihana style of cooking.

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Surprise in the salad bowl

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

"Trust me. Don't do it."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"You shouldn't have hypnotised him"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Hot pot

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

Hypnotoon

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

"Fridge-to-table"

The legend of Chef Arthur.

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

'And when I snap my fingers you'll be happy with what I pay you.'

Come dine with me!