Self-hypnosis Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Buerrk! Buck, buck, buck...'

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

'You must heal yourself.'

"Trust me. Don't do it."

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

"The thing is, you have to really want to change."

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"My self help book on self-esteem is not selling as well as I'd anticipated..!"

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

Margaret got tired of waiting for her ‘slow-brew' tea.

Hydroponic Gardening

Pastoring for Dummies

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"I like everything you suggest, except for the part where you count to three to wake me up. Can we just skip that part?"

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

'All his life, Mel has been convinced that he's a poster boy for something... he's just never been able to figure out what, exactly.'

"When you awake you will feel fine, you will have no pain, and... Oh, what the hell... you will cluck like a chicken for ten seconds."

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

'I'm prescribing a patch to help you get over your inhibitions. Put it over your eye and pretend you're a pirate!'

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"I'm desperate to have an inner child of my own."

"I get the feeling you're still keeping a lot of yourself inside."

Self-realization.

"Me, not self-sufficient? Who was it who self-published a self-help on self-medicating?"