Hypnosis Enthusiasts T-Shirts

Poor chap was busy concentrating on his 'I can make you thin' CD when the truck squashed him flat.

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

"Trust me. Don't do it."

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

Psychic diving competition.

Hypnotoon

'And when I snap my fingers you'll be happy with what I pay you.'

Margaret got tired of waiting for her ‘slow-brew' tea.

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

Counselling Cash.

"No, I'm not asleep, but my foot is."

'So what else do you hyptnotise apart from rabbits?'

"Oh, a resume is not necessary. I know all about you."

Hydroponic Gardening

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

Big Medium

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

"I like everything you suggest, except for the part where you count to three to wake me up. Can we just skip that part?"

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

"When you awake you will feel fine, you will have no pain, and... Oh, what the hell... you will cluck like a chicken for ten seconds."

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

The Hypnotato,

Snake charmer hypnotizes aliens in flying saucer

"You like people and people respond to that."

'... And you say that this hypnotist promised to relax you for this interview? '

The Practical Magician

"I used to think that hypnotherapy was a pseudo-science but Phil has convinced me otherwise."