Self-esteem Sage Pillows

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

'Now that's a face only a mother could love.'

'He has an inferiority complex.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

That party went well.

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

PROBLEM AREAS

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

Achiever: An illustration of how many thoughts she can have in a split second, while still listening to him.

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Thanks to therapy, Bob no longer felt like a nobody. He felt like an anybody.

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

Aging Problems

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

Ego Increasing School

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

'Welcome to the first meeting of the Shy Men Club.'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

This morning I found a thin hair growing out of my knuckle. And so it ends. Your virility, your potential, your conviction, your magnetism, your youth itself

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.