Self-aware Sage Pillows

'I have nothing to declare but my genius!'

'...and sometimes, doctor, I feel I'm going completely crazy...'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Sigmund Freud.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

That party went well.

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

"Look, it's my word balloon."

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Is this who I am?"

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

"Feeling that only you can prevent forest fires could be construed as delusions of grandeur."

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

This morning I found a thin hair growing out of my knuckle. And so it ends. Your virility, your potential, your conviction, your magnetism, your youth itself

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.' 'There goes my political career!'

"I knew it!"

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"Can you suggest something that will enhance my hairstyle?"

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

Barry Cryer.

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.