Self-image Sage Pillows

Tact is seeing others how they wish to be seen.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

That party went well.

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

"Nice haircut."

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"What does she have that I don't?"

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

TV-Mirror.

This morning I found a thin hair growing out of my knuckle. And so it ends. Your virility, your potential, your conviction, your magnetism, your youth itself

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

How to believe in yourself.

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

'Casper just lost twenty seven and a half pounds, but his head is just as fat as ever.'

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

"Don't make me look fat!"

"It's my self-portrait. Obviously."

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

How people who have plastic surgery see themselves...

'Some boys think I'm pretty. Some think I'm ugly. What do you think?'

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

"I'm trying to find that perfect piece of art that will make me think I know something about art."

'Admit it, Henry, you only love me for my hair.'

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'

'I'll take THIS mirror.'

'I'm just sayin', with this cute little face and my big fluffy tail, I never really thought of myself as vermin!'

"Does this dress make my ass stick out?"