Self-reflection Sage Pillows

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

A woman surrounded by drama masks admires herself in the mirror.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"The overthinker"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Cellphone Islands

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

That party went well.

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"You need to stop bottling it up."

"Is this who I am?"

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

Pachyderm insomnia.

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."