Self-reflection Sage Gifts

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

This morning I found a thin hair growing out of my knuckle. And so it ends. Your virility, your potential, your conviction, your magnetism, your youth itself

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

A woman surrounded by drama masks admires herself in the mirror.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"The overthinker"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

That party went well.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Cellphone Islands

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"Is this who I am?"

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

"You need to stop bottling it up."

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

Pachyderm insomnia.

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."