Self-help Sage Pillows

How to believe in yourself.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'Hate, charity, faith, patience...to thine own self be true...' 'Leave this man alone you're driving him mad.'

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

Books: New - Do It Yourself...Let the Government Do It.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

That party went well.

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Library: Self-Help Books and Blame a 'Rigged' Political System.

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

Bishop with a crozier case.

'I guess it was a mistake to make them self-starting.'

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"I knew you'd understand."

A man holding a hammer watches a mummy unravel itself

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

"That was classic me."