Self-education Champion Pillows

"I'm sorry. Now that everyone's home reading, watching movies, educating themselves, and reflecting on the meaning of life, there's just no money for the arts."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Are you OK hun?"

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Don't Take No For an Answer

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'You should have seen me sooner, Mr. Fenswick.'

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

'Guess what! I got my act together! And this is it!'

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"Never mind how other see you, how do you see yourself?"

'Well, I must be going. I have some shopping to do with the money you saved by acting as your own lawyer.'

Start of the school year

Anthony Rottweiler: Motivational Dog Speaker

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

Self Love Witch

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

'You know, it's not good for kids' self-esteem to keep harping on about this 'naughty or nice' stuff.'

Santa Self Esteem.

'Are we birds? Are these wings? Well, let's get rid of this idea that we can't fly!'

Substitute Teacher of the Year Award.

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."

'You've got a lot of nerve, lady, calling my son's answers 'wrong'...His answers may be different, but they're just as special and beautiful as anyone else's.'

If Only Magazine: The Pot Belly Is In!

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

"I'm still waiting for an event to justify the kind of money I throw at you."

Celebrating National No Bra Day

"There's some question as to how long we're going to be able to keep the lights on."