Self-education Champion T-Shirts

"I'm sorry. Now that everyone's home reading, watching movies, educating themselves, and reflecting on the meaning of life, there's just no money for the arts."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Are you OK hun?"

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Don't Take No For an Answer

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'You should have seen me sooner, Mr. Fenswick.'

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

'Guess what! I got my act together! And this is it!'

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"Never mind how other see you, how do you see yourself?"

'Well, I must be going. I have some shopping to do with the money you saved by acting as your own lawyer.'

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

Start of the school year

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

'You know, it's not good for kids' self-esteem to keep harping on about this 'naughty or nice' stuff.'

Self Love Witch

Santa Self Esteem.

'Are we birds? Are these wings? Well, let's get rid of this idea that we can't fly!'

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."

'You've got a lot of nerve, lady, calling my son's answers 'wrong'...His answers may be different, but they're just as special and beautiful as anyone else's.'

If Only Magazine: The Pot Belly Is In!

"I'm still waiting for an event to justify the kind of money I throw at you."

Celebrating National No Bra Day

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

I'm the gorilla's nuts... I'm the dog's bo****ks... He's never been good at hiding his light under a bushel.

"There's some question as to how long we're going to be able to keep the lights on."