Self-aware Foodie Gifts

But is it organic?

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'Diet considerations.'

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Trade you lunches?'

"And what would you like to regret later?"

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

Complex Carbs

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"I'd like a vanilla cupcake with buttercream icing on the side."

"The food is excellent. Unfortunately, the inaction of politicians forces my husband to civil disobedience."

Food that is good for you and food that is good for drug companies.

"Gavin is a bit conflicted when it comes to barbecuing."

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

"It appears your high sodium bacon is playing havoc with your blood pressure."

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house, but we can do it for 40% less carbs and no trans fats!'

'The health plate is low in sodium, cholesterol, and sugar -- the downside is that it's high in styrofoam.'

World Meat Consumptiom

"Who remembers when food wasn't genetically modified?"

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

"He's really healthy, except for the grilled cheese."

The food inspector

"I never saw such overweight mice before."