Seeking Medical Help Gifts

'If you won't help me lose forty pounds, I'll find a doctor that will.'

Impotence Clinic

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

Emotional Support Pest

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

"I told the doctor about my problems with anxiety and burnout and he wrote me a prescription for me an one for himself."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

First aid departments

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

'My work-lifestyle balance is shot, I'm either working or I'm dead!'

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

'What's the point of suffering from depression if nobody notices?'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'You can't keep rescuing him. If he really wants help, book him an appointment.'

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

Seeing the marriage counselor.

"Loss of libido? Have you considered Husband Replacement Therapy?"

"I'm used to him finishing my sentences, but now he starts them, too."

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

"Yes, I have experience. I've been divorced two times."

'I just feel so used all the time.'