Seeking Medical Opinion Gifts

'I'm going to check with my pastor to see what the Bible says about this operation.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

"After giving advice for decades, my doctor gave me some. He suggested I quit sitting all day."

"Don't eat anything fatty...you're not listening, Fatty...I said, 'Don't eat anything!'"

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

"Can't I go anywhere without someone asking for free medical advice?"

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'

"You must cut down on your smoking."

'You've never starved a fever, have you?'

"You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping meals, and jumping to conclusions won't help you."

Do Not Confuse Your Internet Search With my Medical Degree!

"Unbuckle your belt, Bob."

'How's your liver?', 'Okay for now, but my doctor told me to take it easy.'

"You can rest assured, Mrs. Wilson, that your husband will receive the best care known to medical coverage."

'When you put on a new patch you're meant to take the old one off!'

Greed

"Your next fattened kid could be your last."