Seeking Medical Opinion Gifts

'I'm going to check with my pastor to see what the Bible says about this operation.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"Loss of libido? Have you considered Husband Replacement Therapy?"

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

"After giving advice for decades, my doctor gave me some. He suggested I quit sitting all day."

"Don't eat anything fatty...you're not listening, Fatty...I said, 'Don't eat anything!'"

"Can't I go anywhere without someone asking for free medical advice?"

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

"You must cut down on your smoking."

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'

'You've never starved a fever, have you?'

"You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping meals, and jumping to conclusions won't help you."

'How's your liver?', 'Okay for now, but my doctor told me to take it easy.'

Do Not Confuse Your Internet Search With my Medical Degree!

"Unbuckle your belt, Bob."

"You can rest assured, Mrs. Wilson, that your husband will receive the best care known to medical coverage."

'When you put on a new patch you're meant to take the old one off!'

Greed

"Your next fattened kid could be your last."