Security Satire Seeker Pillows

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Airport Security.

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Meet the Enemy

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Flyfishing for dummies.

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'Stick them up...'

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"Beware of the frog"

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Coronavirus Waves

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Quality Control

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."