Security Satire Seeker Mugs

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Airport Security.

Meet the Enemy

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Flyfishing for dummies.

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

'Stick them up...'

Coronavirus Waves

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"Beware of the frog"

Quality Control

How to win friends and Influenza People.

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'