Security Satire Enthusiasts Mugs

TSA Patdowns

'Did you pack your own luggage?'

Airport Security.

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

How to create a password you can remember...

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

Munich Security Conference

'Hello, security.'

iDeasy

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

Airport security - next step?

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

'Judging by that old fashioned light bulb, your idea must be outdated.'

Fabric Company: No tulle left in this vehicle overnight

'This will hurt you more than it will hurt me.'

'The poor shlubb -- his country still only has dial-up.'

"It's part of our company's new health plan. You don't ever have to leave your desk for the virtual colonoscopy..."

Beware of the teddy

"No, he's not a security risk ... he just loves the pat-downs."

'I got a tool to remove malicious malware...'

'If you see a stranger, you kill him -- it's called 'Homeland Security.''

"Beware of owner."

'Tower, we are ready for takeoff.'

"The truth, the whole truth...so help me, Mr Gates"

Given his lack of dental insurance, Tony was initially happy with the officer of a federally subsidized cavity search.

Security: Ticklish and Non-Ticklish.

Warning!! Anti-Climb Paint.