Security Satirist Pillows

'We're now allowed to take liquids on board provided we consumed them in the airport lounge.'

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

Given his lack of dental insurance, Tony was initially happy with the officer of a federally subsidized cavity search.

Airport Shoe Scanner.

Wordilly Durdillies - Jelly makes a good guard dog because...

"The cash is down again. I'm beginning to suspect an inside job."

Airport checkpoints-3

Airport security - next step?

"How long we gotta wear these ridiculous dunce caps...?"

Protected by PB Security.

Man outside airport sells images of passengers' body scans on t-shirts.

"No, he's not a security risk ... he just loves the pat-downs."

Munich Security Conference

"I put my password on billboards all over town to help me remember it. I have to keep changing it, though, because I keep getting hacked."

Airport Security.

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Now you can send it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

Data From a Truck

Private Viewing

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'for more obit info, go to...'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

How to create a password you can remember...

"Today, charges that Putin hacked Trump's tweets..."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'Hello, security.'

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

"Oh, can't complain."

'What do you mean, 'will the director see you now'? He's been watching you for the past two weeks.'

It's your replacement for 'Nimrod'!