Security Protocols Gifts

'You know this is going to be the fifth flight this month you've made me miss.'

'Iris scans, finger prints, fine, but this is going too far.'

All Carry-In Items Will Be Subject to Search

The Anti-Agent

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"He's a guard dog."

The new normal

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

The Scanner Of Love.

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

A Little Extra

AI Safety Officer

Moulin Rouge Security

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Beware of Don"

Death to the Extremists

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

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