Safety Protocol Geek Gifts

Fire extinguisher on fire

The new normal

AI Safety Officer

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

Decontamination

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

First Aid Box

"It's the Coast Guard - they want to know how many life-jackets we have onboard."

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

Break Glass in Case of Fire: Tiny Firemen.

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

Millwall - Hard Hat Area.

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

Moses does a Life jacket demo

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

"It's okay, honey. It's only a mailman."

A sign at a nuclear power plant - 'In case of emergency run!'

Warning: this is a safe area.

Rules and procedure

Staff Only

'In case of a sudden loss of cabin-pressure, please don the respective AFTER-LIFE costume located in the seat pocket in front of you..'

"Hazmat's been very good to me. But my first real love is still beekeeping."

Here's another shipload of old yellow cake uranium from Iraq. Let's get lost, quick!

Acme Candles - In case of fire, break glass.

Book in library - 'Crash tests for dummies' (being read by a crash test dummy).

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."