Safety Protocol Strategist Gifts

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

The new normal

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

AI Safety Officer

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

Decontamination

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

First Aid Box

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

Break Glass in Case of Fire: Tiny Firemen.

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

Snowman has cage protecting his nose.

"Your new phone comes with this fire extinguisher. And we already added the number to the fire dept. to your contacts."

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

Moses does a Life jacket demo

'Mom's in the bedroom trying on scenarios.'

"For extra protection, this one is armed with a tiny gun of its own."

A sign at a nuclear power plant - 'In case of emergency run!'

"He wasn't specific. His last message just said, play it safe - whatever that means."

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

'I'll take this one.'

Here's another shipload of old yellow cake uranium from Iraq. Let's get lost, quick!

"Hazmat's been very good to me. But my first real love is still beekeeping."

'Well I think we've nearly broken the back of this 'risk assessment..'