Safety Protocol Nerd Gifts

Moses does a Life jacket demo

The new normal

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

AI Safety Officer

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

Decontamination

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

Speeding Forklift

First Aid Box

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

Break Glass in Case of Fire: Tiny Firemen.

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

Man sees danger of death sign. Arrows from sign are locked up.

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

A sign at a nuclear power plant - 'In case of emergency run!'

Warning: this is a safe area.

Rules and procedure

Here's another shipload of old yellow cake uranium from Iraq. Let's get lost, quick!

"I'm not wearing any underwear."

Staff Only

Acme Candles - In case of fire, break glass.

"You're confusing me with someone else. I'm in Document Destruction and I just need to get to your shredder bin."

Book in library - 'Crash tests for dummies' (being read by a crash test dummy).

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."

'In case of a sudden loss of cabin-pressure, please don the respective AFTER-LIFE costume located in the seat pocket in front of you..'

"Hazmat's been very good to me. But my first real love is still beekeeping."