Safety Protocols Gifts

"Maybe it would be easier if I just put a stake where it IS safe to dig!"

Job Safety - Valves.

'They hate it when you carry the test tubes that way.'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

To prevent human error, the power station only employed trained seals.

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

A sign at a nuclear power plant - 'In case of emergency run!'

Time-out in the WHO checklist, as inspired by Rodin.

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

'I've been meaning to have someone look at that chair.'

A man trips over the safety manual.

Conductor: 'Oh for PETE'S SAKE LENNY NOT right now! I'm in the middle of Conducting a Fire Drill!'

"Yes, please approach the bench...but not too close."

"I thought that open-hearth furnace was a little too open."

Fire Exit

'The emergency exists are located along both sides of he aisle.'

New tank model with safety features: 'Sorry, sir, firing the cannon set off the airbag.'

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

Klutz Construction, Unauthorized Personnel Only

'Emergency actually refers to a core meltdown, not a stuck bag of chips.'

Acme Candles - In case of fire, break glass.

New Normal People

The new normal

Chiropractor wearing mask and social distancing from patient

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

Here's another shipload of old yellow cake uranium from Iraq. Let's get lost, quick!

Computer cables as fire ladder.

Nuclear Waste.

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

Staff Only

"I had trouble opening the child-proof cap."

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.