Security Agent Gifts

'I'm sorry sir. I'm afraid you can't see the menu. It's top secret.'

"Hey, Bill. When you're done with that terror threat, can you help me decipher my kid's text message?"

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

"Mr. President, please, not the Nuclear Football!"

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

'Please would you take this present to my uncle in New York? It's powered sugar.'

'It's just a laser pointer, Mr. President. It's not a little mouse. Don't let people distract you with these things...Mr. President?..Hello!?'

'There's that Patowski kid... I hear those hands got him recruited straight out of high school!'

"Well, no point in continuing surveillance. The subject just put on a tin foil hat!"

The Anti-Agent

"Bond James, Bond."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'You know too much,'

High security Santa's grotto

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

Airport Security.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

'Where was the TSA?'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"I need to know who started it."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

TSA Noah

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Privacy Conference Security

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!