Secret Agent Gifts

'Information gathering.'

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

"Ah, Mr Bond, so now the tables are turned"

'And just how are we going to win if every time I buy a ticket, you eat it?'

"Keep your voice down there's a tap on the phone"

Secret Service, sign saying: 'You could be here.'

"Hello. We're from the Government, and we mean you no harm."

Let's just say it's a labor dispute. I could tell you more, but then, once this is over, I'd have to kill you.

"After you read the menu, eat it."

'Hey, I left my Top Secret Codebook on the subway. Can I get another one?'

'You're 40+, your looks are gone and you're invisible to men. How would you like a career as a contract killer for the CIA?'

CIA Cafeteria: 'It's nice of you to ask, but the recipe is classified.'

"It`s the special branch."

"We rendezvous at 0600 hours. Wear this so I'll recognize you"

"All the kids have noticed that Mom wears Russian Army boots."

'Vee vill soon find verr you keep ze confidential information...'

Working undercover.

"Snow may very well be falling early in Moscow, but grey squirrel's left his nuts in a taxi!"

Intelligence: in...analyze...analyze...analyze...out...back in again'

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.

A spy

"You're our top agent? - I thought you were the cleaner."

Forgetful British spy

"They rubbed my tummy, chief- I told them everything."

"Listen carefully, I don't have much time."

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

Your life is in great danger...

'That's right, buster, I'm not really Rex, your faithful hunting dog, I'm Agent Baxter of the Fish and Wildlife Service, and you're under arrest for poaching'

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

"My organisation has got a very urgent and important parcel. I can't tell you where to pick it up, I can't tell you where to deliver it and I can't tell you about the content because my organisation is the secret service."

Spy reading secret service weekly.

'I should have known better than to call a geek for backup.'

Under surveillance.

'Hey, here's a song full of coded messages I used to sing in Prague.'

I understand you can find people, but can you lose them as well?