Secret Societies Gifts

Monumental Masons

"I feel like our ritual Illuminati death orgies have become routine Illuminati death orgies."

Danger: Falling Masonry

'I can't figure out why Codex told me the keeper of the bowl died...'

'This where the meeting for the order of the salmon bowl is?

'Is that some kind of ceremonial mask?'

The Masons.

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

Welcome to the Conspiracy Files...

DIMINATI

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

'Where's the elephant cemetery? It's a secret, and anyway, you'd be the last person I'd tell!'

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

"Here's a buck, kid... Don't tell your mom I snuck out of my retirement home!"

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.

'I don't know what's going on, but wipe that look of restrained jubilation off your face!'

'Darling... I think we're being watched!'

"Jack'z the bestess friend. My wife still doesn't know where we'were that night..." Why we toast before we start drinking.

Gigolo Diary

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

"Can you keep a secret?"

Awkward Moments

'They transferred me from catering because I kept spilling the beans.'

'Promise me that this won't go any further?'

Secret Service, sign saying: 'You could be here.'

'Well this shouldn't last long.'

"Psst. Can you keep a secret?"

'Let's not mention this to the fellas at the office, okay, Hal?'

"We’re going to have to be very discreet. We don’t travel together, and we don’t dine together."

"D'ya wanna hear a secret? Well, keep it under your wrappings. . ."

'Sparky's amazing ability to speak to humans betrays him...'

"Cross the road and you are one of us brother, but you can never reveal WHY you did it!"

'Every friend is a potential security breach.'

"Can you keep a secret?"

'Can you keep a top secret?'