Secret Histories Gifts

The transparent safe box of Panama

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

'Time machine materialises in Westminster Lord Lucan arrested'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'Where's the elephant cemetery? It's a secret, and anyway, you'd be the last person I'd tell!'

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"Here's a buck, kid... Don't tell your mom I snuck out of my retirement home!"

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

'I don't know what's going on, but wipe that look of restrained jubilation off your face!'

Watergate is just the tip of the iceberg phobia. 'I have here secret government documents that describe the events leading up to Custer's Last Stand.'

"Jack'z the bestess friend. My wife still doesn't know where we'were that night..." Why we toast before we start drinking.

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

'Darling... I think we're being watched!'

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

"Can you keep a secret?"

'Promise me that this won't go any further?'

Awkward Moments

'They transferred me from catering because I kept spilling the beans.'

'Let's not mention this to the fellas at the office, okay, Hal?'

"Psst. Can you keep a secret?"

'Is that some kind of ceremonial mask?'

'This where the meeting for the order of the salmon bowl is?

'Sparky's amazing ability to speak to humans betrays him...'

"D'ya wanna hear a secret? Well, keep it under your wrappings. . ."

"I loved the good old days, …. 'better dead than red'."

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Ah, Mr Bond, so now the tables are turned"

Audience thinking 'What a jerk!'

'Can you keep a top secret?'

CIA. Spy. I hate to break this to you, Ernie, but you

Do you think we should tell anyone about this?

"Yes, I'm the cardiologist, Dr. Johnson, ordering a pizza, and there's a nice tip in it for you if you deliver it discreetly."