Historical Mysteries Gifts

'Time machine materialises in Westminster Lord Lucan arrested'

"The Ice Age must've caught him by surprise..."

A Hole in the Dike

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

CIA report

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

Harry S. Truman

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

Frankenstein's Ancestry

The Ukraine, Europe and Fascism.

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

Celebrity Phrenologist.

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

"I've run out of invisible ink..."

Authorization for the Use of Farce

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

Russian Spy Debriefing

"It's five post meridiem in Central Europe. Compliled form the major networks the news is next."

History Department: 'I used to be a revisionist myself, you know!'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

'Son, history is important because it's the story of our past that we rewrite to understand our present.'

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

'That isn't true Mrs. Jones, I can find my ass with both hands. And if you want me to prove it, it'll be $150.00 a day, plus expenses.'

'No, not Cro-Magnon - something about it makes me think it's Neanderthal.'

'If you promise to never try to openthe locked attic door, the owner will take $20,000 off!'

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

The Oil of Iran

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."