Second Chancer Pillows

'If I could live my life over, I'd need a really big loan.'

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

'It's my latest novel, 'Hard Times' part 2.'

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

'Yes, I would like to go on a second honeymoon, provided it was with my second husband!'

'Ready for another roll of the dice?'

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

Factory Rejects Inc.

'Your divorce was so mature, balanced, rational...you want to throw that all away with a reconciliation?'

The little engine that coulda woulda shoulda

Second marriage vows.

Bob walked away from the halfway house – but only got halfway.

"I take it you're trying to change the channel?"

'I only need a job until I win the lottery.'

"Oh, definitely, I feel there's a reason I was given a second chance."

Dating club outside divorce court.

"My husband and I were divorced too young. It didn't last."

Field of Broken Dreams

'Three letters of recommendation - do you have any from anyone other than your former wardens?'

'...And now the weather for the weekend.'

'Just make sure you keep to the straight and narrow,old chap!'

"We're trying to encourage some of the older staff to put their admin online."

"If I wanted to reboot my career, I wouldn't have retired in the first place."

Job search

Gambler

"Online betting is really exciting. . ! One day you win, the next day you lose. . ."

'Sometimes you just can't win.', 'Win, nothing -- I can't even beat the point spread!'

'We were married before, and now he wants a rematch.'