Second Chancer Prints

'If I could live my life over, I'd need a really big loan.'

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

'It's my latest novel, 'Hard Times' part 2.'

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

"In light of current market conditions, I've diversified your portfolio to include Lotto tickets and bingo chips."

'Yes, I would like to go on a second honeymoon, provided it was with my second husband!'

'Ready for another roll of the dice?'

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

Factory Rejects Inc.

I'll catch up to you --- I just need my second wind.

What a success story! It says this guy was in prison and now owns a corporation! Ah, he went from pen to inc.

'Your divorce was so mature, balanced, rational...you want to throw that all away with a reconciliation?'

The little engine that coulda woulda shoulda

"This job involves travel? Let me call my parole officer and OK it with him."

Second marriage vows.

"I take it you're trying to change the channel?"

Bob walked away from the halfway house – but only got halfway.

'I only need a job until I win the lottery.'

'I used to be really depressed about losing the superlotto, but then I found this support group, and I realized I'm not the only person who hasn't won.'

"Oh, definitely, I feel there's a reason I was given a second chance."

Field of Broken Dreams

Dating club outside divorce court.

"My husband and I were divorced too young. It didn't last."

'Three letters of recommendation - do you have any from anyone other than your former wardens?'

'...And now the weather for the weekend.'

'Just make sure you keep to the straight and narrow,old chap!'

REincarnation Assignments. Why do you want to be reincarnated? I always wanted a second chance to make a first impression!

"If I wanted to reboot my career, I wouldn't have retired in the first place."

"We're trying to encourage some of the older staff to put their admin online."

Gambler

Job search

"Online betting is really exciting. . ! One day you win, the next day you lose. . ."

'Sometimes you just can't win.', 'Win, nothing -- I can't even beat the point spread!'