Seasoned Hiker Gifts

Season Finale.

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

'Echo Tourism'

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

Scenic Root: ants, bugs and worms using an exposed tree root as a scenic route.

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

Camping.

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

"Some trees in New Hampshire hate being hugged."

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"I love the things I say when I’m in nature."

"When are you gonna roll in something?"

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"It's the adorable snowman!"

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

"Just lemme finish my coffee."

Guru. It's not some kind of zen metaphor --- I really do have an invisible fence!

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

"Stop whimpering. Most dogs would kill for a walk like this."

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."