Health-conscious Hiker Gifts

"Wise men say: Keep your social distance and don't step any closer!"

mountain climer finding a guru wearing a covid mask and a sign that says 6 feet please.

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

'It's no use. Even the mountains remind me of the office.'

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'I've only packed essentials! CD player, hair dryer, eight new tops and a sun lamp.'

'I thought you needed some exercise, so I packed 800 pounds of weights in your backpack.'

A large lady is exploring the jungle as two cougars watch on - 'Remember what the doctor said Ralph... regular exercise and no fatty foods!'

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"Yup, one big happy family enjoying the great outdoors."

"Arrr! This X marks the buried treature and this X marks a safe social distance!"

Would it hurt to blow my top once a week?

"My telemedical nutritionist calls it surprisingly smooth, with a fruity bouquet rendered more enticing due to a hing of cassis and touches of bell pepper aroma."

"To the fact that martinis have no cholesterol, gluten, or GMOs...."

'The secret to happiness is to stay away from low-lying coastal areas which are most susceptible to storms from global warming.'

Office Smoking Conflict

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

'It has my horoscope, heart rate and cholesterol level...but I'm sorry, I don't have the time.'

Safe Sunbathing: 'And you're sure there's no risk at all?'

'Here comes the proud father, now!'

"You'll have to give up the wine and the women. It's OK to sing, but only in moderation."

"There's nothing wrong with my eye. It's a nicotine patch."

"The only thing healthy in this corporate culture is the yogurt in that snack machine."

"Welcome to Smart Eating Weight Loss. We've changed our menu options... have you?"

"We go on daily walks too, but my master is a creature of habit: we take exactly the same route every single time..."

New, slimmer, trimmer look in kangaoos.

"Say it’s beautiful!"