Health-conscious Hiker Pillows

"Wise men say: Keep your social distance and don't step any closer!"

mountain climer finding a guru wearing a covid mask and a sign that says 6 feet please.

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

Just think of meditation as "mental floss." (Published previously on 3/17/2006.)

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

'It's no use. Even the mountains remind me of the office.'

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'I thought you needed some exercise, so I packed 800 pounds of weights in your backpack.'

A large lady is exploring the jungle as two cougars watch on - 'Remember what the doctor said Ralph... regular exercise and no fatty foods!'

'I've only packed essentials! CD player, hair dryer, eight new tops and a sun lamp.'

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"Yup, one big happy family enjoying the great outdoors."

The protestor's complaint. Chiropractor. My back won't let me stand up for what I believe in, but it also won't let me just take things sitting down.

"Arrr! This X marks the buried treature and this X marks a safe social distance!"

Would it hurt to blow my top once a week?

"My telemedical nutritionist calls it surprisingly smooth, with a fruity bouquet rendered more enticing due to a hing of cassis and touches of bell pepper aroma."

'The secret to happiness is to stay away from low-lying coastal areas which are most susceptible to storms from global warming.'

Office Smoking Conflict

Safe Sunbathing: 'And you're sure there's no risk at all?'

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

"To the fact that martinis have no cholesterol, gluten, or GMOs...."

'It has my horoscope, heart rate and cholesterol level...but I'm sorry, I don't have the time.'

'Here comes the proud father, now!'

"You'll have to give up the wine and the women. It's OK to sing, but only in moderation."

"There's nothing wrong with my eye. It's a nicotine patch."

'Wait a minute...you know I can't enjoy any experience until I've added dramatic flourishes and posted it on Facebook.'

"Welcome to Smart Eating Weight Loss. We've changed our menu options... have you?"

"The only thing healthy in this corporate culture is the yogurt in that snack machine."

Skipping lunch and walking around let me lose 10 pounds and find out what people do around here.