Habitual Hiker Gifts

"We go on daily walks too, but my master is a creature of habit: we take exactly the same route every single time..."

Fly Fishing

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

'Echo Tourism'

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Scenic Root: ants, bugs and worms using an exposed tree root as a scenic route.

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"I love the things I say when I’m in nature."

"When are you gonna roll in something?"

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"It's the adorable snowman!"

"Just lemme finish my coffee."

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

Large bird chases bird watcher up a hill.

Bear Signpost.

"You've got a friend in me."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

"Stop whimpering. Most dogs would kill for a walk like this."

Guru. It's not some kind of zen metaphor --- I really do have an invisible fence!

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'