Hiking Enthusiast Gifts

"I kind of regret objecting so strongly to the wind farm they originally had planned."

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

'My pine scented spray keeps the bugs away, but what do I do about the beavers?'

'Must be getting late - it's suddenly gone dark.'

Metaphors.

Sign at Echo Point - Echo Point Watch Your Step and Your Mouth.

Tourists

"You know what, I don't think they're hikers enjoying a forest walk: they're carrying axes and chainsaws..."

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

The Earth is definitely Fred's mother.

Waymark

Wishing well out of order - Try wishing upon a star.

'This is not what I had in mind when I said I enjoyed long walks.'

Hill Walker on Running Machine

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

"Welcome to our evening forest hike. You won't regret wearing your bug suits."

Out to Lunch

"Whoa! What the …? Don’t sneak up on me like that!"

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'My feet are killing me.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Bring your own inflatable.

Allotment

Dog's kite's tail is wagging.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Fly Fishing

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

'More bubbles!'

Fishing sign.

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"